From 1994-2012 I feel like I made all the sacrifices in our family. I worked full time, part time, adjusted my schedule around my husbands, turned down job opportunities because they didn’t fit within our family’s schedule. Lost friends because I had no time to spend with them. I even quit my job to be a stay at home mom, because that ended up being the best for our family. That’s what moms’ do right? We sacrifice everything we want because we love our family.
I spent all that time taking care of everyone else, that somehow in the midst of things I lost myself. In 2012 things changed. That was the year I finally found me. I won this trip to go to a blogging conference. My first reaction when I won, was I can’t do this. Who would take care of the kids for 5 days. My husband said you’re going. He arranged to take time off of work, just so I could attend.
I still felt guilty. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want him to take vacation time and us not spend it as a family. I felt selfish going. Not to mention, I was scared. I didn’t know anyone. I hadn’t traveled by myself in 21 years. My husband had always traveled with me. I didn’t realize that being with him for so long, somehow along the way I also lost my independence. I guess I didn’t need to be independent since we were always together.
When I arrived at this conference I was in awe… I didn’t have to worry about dinner, schoolwork, cleaning, etc.. I only had to worry about me. Me time!!!
The trip changed our lives.
I came back refreshed which made me a better mom. I appreciated my husband more, which made me a better wife. My husband was able to bond more with the kids, which made him a better dad and I got my independence back, which made me a better me. It made me think about all the sacrifices I made through the years and if I had to do it all over this is what I would stop doing.
The 5 sacrifices moms should stop making and start doing are:
- Not making time for yourself. Start making time for yourself. Go get pampered, take a trip or start a hobby.
- Feeling guilty if you don’t put your family first. It’s OK to take care of you. You need it to be a better mom and spouse.
- Trying to do it all! Start delegate responsibilities to your husband, even if you’re a stay at home mom.
- Feeling guilty if you ask for or need to hire help. Saying yes to a babysitter or house cleaner to give you a helping hand can be refreshing.
- Saying no to individual bonding time. Schedule date nights with your husband and children. Be sure to also make time to hang out with family and friends.
Fast forward to today…. I take trips all the time now, without the family. My husband does too. My husband and I will actually take the kids on trips without each other, so we can have some bonding time with the kids. We take trips alone and also together as a family. I also meet with my friends regularly. I ask my husband for help often and I no longer feel guilty if I put myself first.
If I had to do it all over I wouldn’t have waited 18 years!
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