I’ve been a stay at home mom for 3 years and right now I hate it. I’m exhausted! I feel like I’m so far underwater with everything and the tide just keeps raging in and I can’t come up for air. I enjoy being home for my family, but I don’t enjoy the duties that come along with it. When I’m working – I feel more adapted to deal with all of the crap that is handed to me, because I’m getting paid for it. At home I don’t. I just try to take it and smile as if I enjoy it and that’s really hard to do.
It’s been a while since I’ve written about my faith and trusting God. I’m a strong believer of tithing and my intentions are to doing a post every Sunday as a way to give back on my blog as well. I hope you’ll find my Sunday Stories to be encouraging.
About 2 years ago our financial situation was very stressful. I wasn’t really putting God first with our finances. I would tithe a few dollars here and there, but that year was the year we disciplined ourselves to tithe 10% of our salary. Once we started tithing I felt God challenging me more and more to give. I didn’t understand why God would challenge me to give more when I was already doing what the Bible said to do. Wouldn’t it have made more sense for him to challenge me when I was only giving a few dollars? I just didn’t understand and Trusting God with this was really hard.
I know that money is one of the biggest things I struggle with. Trusting that God will provide and take care of everything, just didn’t seem possible. Maybe it’s because of all my years in finance, 2+2=4 Right? That made it so hard for me to think outside of the box. How could God change that? Why would he? Needless did I know that he would show me how.
One Sunday, God challenged me to give $300 dollars, and this really freaked me out. Why would God want me to do this. It was more than what we normally tithed and if we tithed this, it would cause all of our bills to fall behind. It didn’t make sense to me. Truly God wouldn’t want me to do this and spend our next few paychecks catching up on late fees and cause our bills to fall behind. I even went so far to questioned God on whether or not I was hearing him correctly. So I threw my hands up and said Lord I’ll do what you want, no matter what! Just so I can know that I’m actually hearing you, can you tell my husband to confirm the amount you want me to give. Right before we left, I grabbed a check from the checkbook and was ready to give, but I really wasn’t Trusting God.
When we got to Church , I was hesitant. I didn’t really know how to ask my husband, but I did. I asked my husband how much I was supposed to give, he said I don’t know, that’s between you and God. (He knew I was struggling with this extra giving) I said I know, but I want you to tell me the amount. He said, ” $300.00 and I don’t know why I know that.” Now you must understand that my husband doesn’t remember things like this. Specific amounts especially. He can buy gas, and a few minutes later forget the amount he put in the gas tank. All I could do was smile and thank the Lord for showing me that I was hearing him correctly. I was happy to reach into my purse and write my check. However my check, wasn’t a check it was a deposit slip.
God tested me! He wanted to teach me to trust him and I passed! Once I understood that, I no longer felt the feeling that I needed to give that money. God showed me that I don’t need to struggle with my money. He showed me I just needed to trust him and he will provide. I was so relived and comforted that I knew from this point on trusting God would be easier.
Even though the things we encounter may not make sense to us, just remember it doesn’t have to. We will never know the answers as long as we breath air on this earth. Trusting God is hard, I guess that why it’s called faith.
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Love this story? Check out my other post Breaking The Cultural Idol of Entitlement.
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