10 Do’s and Don’ts for Kids With Temper Tantrums For Parents and Observers.


Temper Tantrums aren’t fun and I recently read a blog article about children and their temper tantrums and basically went to say that if your child throws temper tantrums you should stay home with your kids.  The person who wrote it felt that these bad behavioral kids were ruining their good kids.  The article offered no solution other than to stay home with your kids and not expose the world with this behavior.

temper tantrums

That article really hit a nerve with me as if we can predict when the magical temper tantrum moment will happen.  These oh so fortunate parents who have never had their kids throw a temper tantrum in public, how I wish this on thee…

You falsely believe that these are bad kids and bad parenting is going on for your child to throw a temper tantrum.

I’ve been there and it’s not pleasant.  My daughter now 19, at the age of 3 threw a temper tantrum in the store.  She was one of those “bad” kids.  We were picking up a few items and happened to go by the toy section.  She grabbed a toy and I told her she could not have it and she threw a temper tantrum.  This threw me by surprise.  Her first one, in the store and I was utterly embarrassed.  I can still remember it to this day.  She arched her back and started with the kicking, while I was holding her.  As much as I wanted to let her go and drop on her head because I was so angry of this behavior I didn’t.

Disciplining her by saying no and not giving in, got me nothing but dirty looks from spectators.  Had I bought her the toy, she would have stopped and everything would have been fine with the world and I would have raised a spoiled little brat.  Parents and observers should have been cheering me on, saying way to go for not giving in to your child for their bad behavior.

We are so quick to judge the instance.  I used to judge too!  That was before I had kids, before I experienced the situation for myself and now I feel for the parent and give them a smile.

I put together 10 Do’s and Don’ts for kids with temper tantrums for parent’s and observers.

    1. Parents -Don’t give in to your child’s tantrum.  Doing so will let them know they are the boss.
    2. Parents -Don’t ignore your kids and let them continue with their tantrum as if it will eventually stop.
    3. Parents -Do take your child away from the environment.  Get down on their level and explain to them that their behavior is unacceptable.
    4. Parents -Don’t be afraid to discipline your child in public.
    5. Parents -Do be mindful of the situation around you.  If you can’t get the situation under control don’t be afraid to ask for help.   If you need to leave a cart full of groceries and come back, let the store clerk know and then leave.
    6. Parents -Do wait to go out and run your errands if you know your child is already fussing and needs a nap.
    7. Observers – Don’t judge the other parents and give your nasty stares.  This only frustrates the already frustrated parent.
    8. Observers – Don’t offer advice during this time.  It’s not the time and place for it.
    9. Observers – Don’t assume these are bad kids.  These could be children with special needs, disabilities etc.   Plus everyone has bad days.  I know there have been some days where I wanted to throw a fit for not getting things done my way.
    10. Observers – Do try to distract the kids.  Sometimes giving the kids a big smile or silly face can change the situation.

I hope this help you on how to deal with children who have temper tantrums.

What are your thoughts about the do’s and don’t of this list and how do you deal with temper tantrums?

 

 

The Joy of Having a Teen Driver

I love having a teen driver.  I get to be lazy and make her go everywhere.

mom and daughter

This was a recent text message that I sent to my daughter and thought it would give you all a laugh.

Me:  Bring home milk and soda

Her: Really I just brought home milk like two days ago.

Me:  Yup and it’s gone

Her:  Ughh.  This time I’m buying two gallons because I don’t want to have to go to the store again in two days

Me:  Get over it

Her:  I might as well get cheese too because we don’t have any.

Me:  Well then you should get bread too.

Her:  Its annoying.  You need to go grocery shopping more

Me:  Probably so.

Do you have similar conversations with your teen?

 

Birth Control Was a No for My Teen

Birth control pills are common in today’s society, especially with teens. Mothers are putting their daughters on it in hopes of preventing teenage pregnancy and to my surprise the doctors are encouraging it too.

Birth Control

I took my daughter in to see the gynecologist when she was 16 years of age.  She had abnormal periods due to her low platelet count and we wanted to make sure she didn’t have any issues from the chemotherapy treatments she had when she was younger.

The doctor did a few tests and found that everything appeared to be normal and suggested that we put her on birth control.  When I said no, the doctor looked at me as if I were the dumbest mother on earth.  She started lecturing me on all the reasons why I should put my daughter on birth control.  Some of the ‘so-called’ benefits were regular periods and clearer skin and of course pregnancy prevention.

wasn’t willing to put my daughter on birth control just to have clearer skin and regular periods.  Yes, I am concerned about pregnancy prevention, but I feel that giving teens access to birth control gives them the green light to have sex, become more sexually active and be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases.  Since birth control is not 100% preventative, they should be using a condom anyways.

Talking about sex isn’t easy.  Our children need to understand why not having sex is really the only way to prevent them from having sex. 

Here are the 5 things we talked about:

  1. The bible tell us that God wants us to wait until we marry to have sex.   If we waited we wouldn’t deal with teen pregnancy, the amount of abortions going on in this world, etc.
  2. Having sex will not make anyone fall in love or want you more.  Love comes from the heart and you should never feel pressured to have sex just to take your relationship to the next level.
  3. We talk about situations happening around her.  I shared stories about when I was younger, what happened to my friends, how they were used by their boy friends, their one night stands etc, and wouldn’t you know it… she knows someone that is going through that situation right now.
  4. We talked about our society saying how using condoms is practicing safe sex.  There is no safe sex, condoms help prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases but condoms can fail.  If you are going to have sex you need to be prepared of the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting a STD.
  5. Resisting the temptation of having sex before marriage is difficult and that’s because God’s knows the hurt that’s involved.  Have faith.  Only good can come by waiting and following his plan. ( 1 Thessalonians 4:1-18)

I know that I cannot make this decision for my daughter.  I can only guide her on what the bible teaches and what I know to be true and not worry about what normal is in our society.

How do you feel about teens and birth control?

How to Parent a Child When Parents Don’t Play Nice

How to parent a child when parents don’t play nice is something we had to deal with the other day.  We were at our boys championship baseball game and one play had a parent outraged!

How To Parent a Child

Last week, my boys had their championship baseball game.  It was an intense game, bottom of the 5th inning and our team was up to bat.  We had 2 outs and bases were loaded.  Our batter ran to first, the first baseman caught the ball and would have gotten him out.  However the first baseman took his foot off of the bag.  The outfield umpire called him out.  Our coach disputed it and the infield umpire agreed with our coach and called our player safe.  This decision was huge because it brought 2 of our players home, putting us in the lead.

The parents on the other team were upset, but after the decision was made and the game went on most of the parents let it go, except the parent of the first baseman.  He was outraged!  He walked over to our side of the dugout and started yelling at our kids telling them how much they sucked!   After doing that he was removed from the field for the remainder of the game.

Our team ended up winning the game.  My boys being very excited that they won, couldn’t celebrate.  They were frightened.  They felt that the angry parent was going to come hunt them down and kill them for winning the game.

I can’t believe the action of this parent!  It’s a little league game with a bunch of 9-10 years old!  Instead of being able to celebrate they were fearful and I had to think of how to parent my child when parents don’t play nice.

Communication was key!  I asked my boys, the following questions:

Why do you think the adult acted this way?

Do you think it was appropriate?

Then I explained that just because someone acts out in anger, doesn’t necessarily mean they intend to hurt us.  

I also encouraged them to continue to do what they love.   

Then we talked about how to treat others with kindness and respect

and we finally talked about forgiveness.  Teaching the kids that we should forgive, just like God has forgiven us.

I got my kids calmed down and excited about their accomplishment.  It’s terrible that we even had to get to this point because of one’s parents ignorance.

Have you ever come into contact with a situation like this?  How did you deal with how to parent a child when parents don’t play nice.

 

Overcoming the Fear of Letting My Kids Play Outside

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Allstate. All opinions are 100% mine.

 photo allstatelogo_300x60_zps5487a605.jpg

I really dislike watching the news.  In the news world, the saying goes if it bleeds it leads and honestly that truth depresses and scares me.  I don’t want to hear about kids getting kidnapped, raped and killed. I don’t want to hear about gun shootings and burglaries even though I know it happens.

As a mom, hearing those stories scared me to the point that I didn’t want to let my kids do anything by themselves especially play outside.  I know that we live in a different day and age, but I can remember riding my bicycle from dusk to dawn and not having a care in the world.  I'd hang out at my neighbor's house, we'd play outside all day and we weren't glued to our televisions.  I want that for my kids.

With our first child, we would constantly buy toys and gadgets just to keep her entertained.  She rare;y played outside in our neighborhood.  Then I got to thinking that the reality of something bad happening is rare.  I had some tough choices to make, but I wanted to give my kids the opportunity to go outside, play ball, ride their bikes and enjoy our beautiful neighborhood.  

I started by creating rules that they needed to have their sibling with them at all times and were required to check-in every 30 mins.  We also created boundaries of where it was acceptable to play.  We also got our children accustomed to our whistle.  We'd whistle for them, letting them know it was time to come home.

It took a while but I finally got over my fear of letting my kids go outside and play.  I still get worried now and then, but I don’t let the fear control my life.

My kids are enjoying life.  They are getting plenty of exercise, they aren't attached to their television and gadgets and they've made some great friends in the neighborhood.

Allstate Good Life is also taking a stance of a good life, be sure to check out the following video:

I'd love to hear your story about something in your life that you were once fearful of, but overcame that.   Comment below if you are willing to share.  In the meantime let's all enjoy a good life! 

 

Visit Sponsor's Site

Dealing With Disappointments in Life

Dealing with disappointment is hard and often times you’ll hear the saying…. things happen for a reason?  Do you believe it?

If you are saying yes, how do you feel when it happens to your children?  As parents we want to encourage our children and shield them from any type of disappointment they may receive in their lives and it gets even harder when you find yourself as disappointed than they are.

Dealing with Disappointment

For the past few months, our family has been praying for our daughter to pass her tests.  Today we found out that she didn’t pass the test and God hasn’t answered our prayer and to be honest I’m mad.  In Matthew 7:7  it states “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

What I have to remember is that I’m not on God’s timeline.  Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Dealing with disappointment is hard on any level and it’s not an easy pill to swallow. Sometimes it takes a painful disappointment to teach us how to strengthen our faith and skills. For we don’t know God’s will, we just have to trust in his promise.

Dealing with disappointment is easier if you try to follow these 4 tips:

1.  Continue to Pray.  Remember that God is true to his word.

2.  Turn the negative into a positive.  This event can be a life changer or make a difference in yours or someone else’s lives.   You can also ask yourself  if you could have done something different?

3.  Be Patient.  We are on God’s time not our own.  He will answer our prayers when he is ready to and sometimes his answer may be no.

4.  Let it out.  It’s OK to be upset and angry and talking with someone can help.  Just be sure that the person you are talking with is positive.

What suggestions do you have when dealing with disappointment?

MomsLifeboat ~ Las Vegas, NV
Our Policies