Why is it easier to look back and have faith than to continue our daily lives with the faith we so often doubt. Trusting God is one of the hardest things to do. Several years ago I felt God tugging at my heart to quit my job to stay at home with my children. I didn’t want to do this because we were losing half of our income. How can God provide for us? 2+2=4 right? There was no changing that. Would we mysteriously receive a check in the mail? I knew God would provide but I still doubted. However I proceeded and took this leap of faith and quit my job. We still had a ton of bills to pay and the paycheck my husband brought home every two weeks didn’t even cover our Mortgage payment and HOA which was 55% of our income. We were house poor and living on one income with a family of 6 to pay the rest of our debt, food, gas, tithe, etc. seemed impossible to do. When we added everything up we were always in the red. God did provide! Everything got paid and we still had money left over. I never did receive a check in the mail and 2+2 still amounted to 4. It didn’t make sense and It still doesn’t make sense to me.
The only way I can make light of it is by: Matthew 14:13-21
Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand
When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”
Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered. “Bring them here to me,” he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.
I love this story. Visually you see 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, if I were there today I would still doubt. There are things on Earth we will never understand. I am thankful that God has provided for me and my family even though I doubted.
Do you have a story where God has provided even though you’ve doubted? I would love to hear them!