Temper Tantrums aren’t fun and I recently read a blog article about children and their temper tantrums and basically went to say that if your child throws temper tantrums you should stay home with your kids. The person who wrote it felt that these bad behavioral kids were ruining their good kids. The article offered no solution other than to stay home with your kids and not expose the world with this behavior.
That article really hit a nerve with me as if we can predict when the magical temper tantrum moment will happen. These oh so fortunate parents who have never had their kids throw a temper tantrum in public, how I wish this on thee…
You falsely believe that these are bad kids and bad parenting is going on for your child to throw a temper tantrum.
I’ve been there and it’s not pleasant. My daughter now 19, at the age of 3 threw a temper tantrum in the store. She was one of those “bad” kids. We were picking up a few items and happened to go by the toy section. She grabbed a toy and I told her she could not have it and she threw a temper tantrum. This threw me by surprise. Her first one, in the store and I was utterly embarrassed. I can still remember it to this day. She arched her back and started with the kicking, while I was holding her. As much as I wanted to let her go and drop on her head because I was so angry of this behavior I didn’t.
Disciplining her by saying no and not giving in, got me nothing but dirty looks from spectators. Had I bought her the toy, she would have stopped and everything would have been fine with the world and I would have raised a spoiled little brat. Parents and observers should have been cheering me on, saying way to go for not giving in to your child for their bad behavior.
We are so quick to judge the instance. I used to judge too! That was before I had kids, before I experienced the situation for myself and now I feel for the parent and give them a smile.
I put together 10 Do’s and Don’ts for kids with temper tantrums for parent’s and observers.
- Parents -Don’t give in to your child’s tantrum. Doing so will let them know they are the boss.
- Parents -Don’t ignore your kids and let them continue with their tantrum as if it will eventually stop.
- Parents -Do take your child away from the environment. Get down on their level and explain to them that their behavior is unacceptable.
- Parents -Don’t be afraid to discipline your child in public.
- Parents -Do be mindful of the situation around you. If you can’t get the situation under control don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you need to leave a cart full of groceries and come back, let the store clerk know and then leave.
- Parents -Do wait to go out and run your errands if you know your child is already fussing and needs a nap.
- Observers – Don’t judge the other parents and give your nasty stares. This only frustrates the already frustrated parent.
- Observers – Don’t offer advice during this time. It’s not the time and place for it.
- Observers – Don’t assume these are bad kids. These could be children with special needs, disabilities etc. Plus everyone has bad days. I know there have been some days where I wanted to throw a fit for not getting things done my way.
- Observers – Do try to distract the kids. Sometimes giving the kids a big smile or silly face can change the situation.
I hope this help you on how to deal with children who have temper tantrums.
What are your thoughts about the do’s and don’t of this list and how do you deal with temper tantrums?
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Gina,
Great post!
The worst for me was the other people around judging me. My experience was similar to yours, my precious bundle of joy, LOST HIS MIND in the middle of the grocery store. Now before I was a mom I could tell you everything about parenting 😉 and what I would do to calm my children down. Now I actually have this child with “free will” not listening or following my directions. I’m embarrassed, and have everyone around glaring at me. Not fun! I am happy to say that it was the first and last time it happened but it was so overwhelming.
Maybe those times have to happen to teach us all.
I love this post. My toddler (14 months) is a great kid. Gives a smile and a hug to everyone who shares one with him. He can even play on his own, quietly, for an hour sometimes. I know I’m bias but he is a good boy. He also has tantrums sometimes. He had one in the supermarket and it was actually all my fault. As I was packing the bags he took his yogurt (he knows it’s his) and as I was rushing I took it from him to put in the bag (which I would give back to him as he likes to “help”). I forgot to tell him this, I forgot to talk to him. He had a tantrum. There were these old ladies standing and judging and I was angry. They looked at my son as if he’s a brat and me as if I am a lousy parent. I wanted to grab their purses without telling THEM that I’d give it back and see if they would remain calm or have a tantrum of their own. Sometimes we don’t understand the tantrums, but they are just angry and have no idea what to do with that emotion. Great article. 😀
Thank you. I couldn’t stop laughing about your comment of taking the older ladies purses to see if they would have thrown a fit! Too bad you didn’t do that, that would have been worth seeing!